8/23/2023 0 Comments Damaged goods dating![]() Our struggle is not a question of worthiness rather, it is a question of courage. What do we need to do to feel worthy of this? Not a damn thing. We start dating again when our deepest human need - intimacy - decides to ignore our ego’s strident insistence upon cynicism, self-protection and the painful yet comforting certainty that there will never be a loving, cherishing partner for you. When is it time to start dating again? You know the answer. This guarantees a terrible collision in our psyche: the locomotive of our deep desire and deep belief for great love collides with the historical fact that we have thus far been unable to realize our desire and deepest belief. Something about us just doesn’t know how to be in a great relationship. And, invariably, the deepest wound we sustain when serious, committed love relationships fail is revealed in the voices inside of us saying that something is just plain wrong with us. You’re meeting a person and the myriad, mostly unconscious ways this person is protecting themselves from ever being hurt again.įailed relationships leave real scars. No, you’re meeting a person and all the people who have hurt them. For people dating over 40, it’s near impossible to meet someone on "even ground." You and I have exactly the same observation regarding people 40ish and older who have been in serious relationships in the past. Last but definitely not least, how do you know when the time is right to have sex again?Īfter being in a serious, loving relationship and finding that powerful, emotionally soul-filling lovemaking that takes you over, body and soul, I can’t seem to get into casual sex anymore. How much should they divulge about their past relationships? Doesn’t truly opening up to someone involve showing your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths and taking the chance that they will not abuse that knowledge? ![]() How do they know when the time is right to start dating again? How long should they wait before they consider whether the person they date is worthy of opening up to? ![]() What do you feel these people need to do to become worthy of dating and eventually in a relationship again? One man referred to this type of person as "damaged goods." From my observations, I have found that most people (men and women) who have been in serious relationships in the past and are over 40 and alone have been hurt, abused or neglected at some point in their lives.
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